Yeah, I hear you. Coaching often seems...unnecessary. I've even been guilty myself of thinking I can DIY my way through my own choices and life moves. And honestly, you totally can. You have to follow your own instincts when hiring someone. Especially when it's a collaborative, creative process like making a major shift in your life. But here are some of the main reasons you should consider hiring a coach to support you:
You are the average of the 5 people closest to you. I didn't come up with this phrase, I'm pretty sure it's cliché at this point, but let's break it down with some examples. Is it easier to not drink when you're at the gym or when you're at a party? Is it easier to choose the salad with your health-nut friend, or the foodie who always wants to order the most decadent thing on the menu? Would you feel more empowered walking into a salary negotiation after talking to someone who told you, in no uncertain terms, that you were worth what you're asking for in compensation, or after speaking with your friend who said "Oh...that's a lot of money..." We are social creatures who need other people for level-setting. When you hire a coach, she becomes one of your 5 people. She is going to be in your corner pushing you to level-up, and normalizing that for you. This expert that you trust, who knows all about your story, your skills, and your goals, will be with you, validating you, and encouraging you every step of the way, on every decision, big or small. Her voice will merge with the one in your head, just like your best friend, you partner, your mom, or your therapist. These are the voices you get to tap into every time you're making a decision. Point being, hiring a coach brings your personal "average" standard for yourself up.
The Ego struggle is real. This one is the tricky one, at least in my experience. It seems like making the right choice should be so easy. Well, yeah. You can. But do you? When it comes time to step off the cliff of the cozy, soul-sucking job into the free-fall of the next phase of your life, will you take that step? And once you do take the step, will you do a badass mid-air flip like a boss, or will you try frantically to scramble back to the wall because falling looks further than you thought it would? Leaving something familiar to try a new challenge, even just within a career, triggers all those same fight-or-flight, sympathetic nervous system responses that make your brain start screaming "RUN FOR SAFETY!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!" And no matter how much you've prepped for it, it's really normal to give in to those thoughts in some way, shape, or form. Especially when the thoughts turn into emotions that literally take over your whole body. Those thoughts and feelings are your Ego coming in trying to keep you safe with the familiar. Even if the safety is actually soul-crushing, it's a known entity. It is scary to step into something new and different, and your Ego doesn't like that. To make matters worse, the Ego is LOUD in your head, and it sounds like you. It actually often sounds like the voice of reason. It is harder to fight than most anything else, and it's why so many people stay exactly where they are, even when they desperately want to get out. So yes, you can make the shift on your own to what you want. But it is much harder without reinforcements, ready to call your Ego out on it's bullshit when the going gets tough.
We are creatures of habit. Closely related to the Ego point #2, we as humans like to be in routine. Even in the ways we change things up in our lives, we still kind of do the same stuff. Often, we don't even realize the ruts we're in because the things we see other people doing "just aren't for me," or because "I could never do that," or even, "I don't like that kind of stuff." And most people in your life either aren't going to push you on the subject, or you won't listen to them because who the f**k are they to tell you what to do? Well, your coach is literally the person you hired to point out when you're getting in your own way. If anyone is going to push you outside your comfort zone, it's your coach. And if there's anyone you're going to listen to, it's probably her too.
When you put money against something, you see a greater result. Flat out. You are more dedicated to things you've spent money on. If you bought an expensive gym membership, you will make yourself go. Much more so than a membership where you're like, "Eh, that's not that much money...I'll keep the membership and go when I can." So when you hire a coach to support you in making a change in your life, you are signaling to yourself that you're serious. You will be more invested (financially and emotionally). You will take it more seriously. And you will get more out of it. You can do it for free, or at a much lower cost, by reading books, listening to podcasts, and watching YouTube videos. But your dedication will be lower, and the advice will not be tailored to you in a way you can't ignore. You will see bigger results. You will see results faster. Because you are betting on yourself. You are investing in yourself.
Your coach will keep you focused and on track. When you're in day-to-day of life, it's easy to get swept away in the minutia and lose sight of the overall goal for where you're going. You might even think an opportunity will get you closer to your goal, when it's actually a detour. Your coach will help you define what that ultimate big-picture dream is for yourself, and then keep you focused on it. You will spend less time chasing things that aren't what you want, and more time moving in a clear, precise direction because you have a compass and a co-pilot. Full stop.
It is so easy to think that you can make the changes in your life on your own. And, yes, you certainly can. But it will probably be harder. It will probably take longer. And you probably have more detours along the way. It's not that you aren't good enough, it's that the things you're trying to do are hard for pretty much everyone. And to drop a final note, most of the people you admire, probably have a coach of some kind of their own.
Thoughts? Questions? Drop me a line, babes.