If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you already know I’ve been really enjoying Loving What Is by Byron Katie. Part of what I enjoy about this book is how simple the premise is. Katie suggests you start by journaling down all the reasons you’re upset with someone in your life, and then taking each sentence piece by piece and questioning it.
But one of the best parts, is the simple question, “How true is it?” particularly when you come across statements that have should or shouldn’t. Because really, how do you know?
Jeff should clean the shower. SHOULD HE THOUGH??
According to who? What’s the proof that Jeff should clean the shower? Can you give some examples of Jeff cleaning the shower and feeling like he benefited from it?
Katie’s philosophy centers in on what is really, actually happening. If Jeff’s not cleaning the shower, and he never has, and hasn’t shown he enjoys it, or that he even really cares if the shower is clean, then Jeff shouldn’t clean the shower. However, if it’s important to YOU that the shower be clean, and you enjoy having a clean shower, then you should clean the shower.
She has more steps to help you get there, but the concept is so simple.
If you accept things as they are with no expectation that they change, then you’ll be happy. If you expect things to change and they don’t, then you won’t be. And it’s not necessarily easy, but it’s something to consider. Where are you fighting against the grain, telling yourself that things should be different?
Shoot me a note – I’d love to hear about it.