My cat's on Prozac. Several years ago I adopted her from the local shelter. Her name is Esmeralda, but we call her Ezzie.
When I went to the shelter to get her, all I wanted was a snugly, funny little fuzz friend who I could hang out with. However, when I brought her home, she ran under the bed and didn't come out when I was around at all for the first few weeks.
This eventually evolved into her sitting in the same room as me or watching me, but that was pretty much it. You can see one of our early "interactions" in the photo there.
It took at least 6 months for her to let me lightly touch the top of her head to "pet" her, and that's where things stayed for about a year. When my boyfriend and I moved in together, her stress levels clearly and drastically increased. As an animal lover himself, he was pretty insistent that we needed to do something to help her because running under the bed every time he walked in the room just wasn't a good life for her. Hence the vet visits and the eventual Prozac prescription.
After a year of being on anti-anxiety medication, she'll now jump into bed with us and let me scratch her chin and pet her as long as boyfriend doesn't move at all. And she'll reluctantly let him be the one to pet her if I'm not home. Major milestones!
So what's my point here?
(Besides the fact that Ezzie is clearly adorable -->)
My boyfriend and I have spent years now feeding her twice a day, cleaning out her litterbox, admiring her from afar, and generally loving her for all her crazy quirks. We watch her watching us while we sit on the couch and appreciate her faces and adorable little kitty habits from the distance she has deemed safe. All we wish is that she would relax enough to receive the affection and connection with us she clearly craves but is too afraid to accept.
In this metaphor, you are my cat, and boyfriend and I represent the Universe. Whatever higher power you believe in just loves you so much and thinks you're so cute. The amount of resources you take up are so insignificant, it's just happy to see you happy and will give you just about anything you want.
But if you run away from what you want because you're afraid of what it might mean or are just so sure it's really a trap intended to ensnare and endanger you, you're never going to get anywhere.
Don't be the cat. Accept the love of the Universe. Trust that it loves you and has your back.