Yeah you heard me. Here's my thing. I think as women, we want to say yes to everyone and everything until we're totally overwhelmed. Saying no can be really hard. Especially if we could feasibly do the thing the person is asking us to do.
And sometimes doing stuff for other people is great. But sometimes it's like..."I don't want to do that!" Or maybe just, "If I do that for you, I won't have time for me." And I feel like I have to do stuff for other people because I don't want to be mean or not be there for someone because I'm so thoughtful and empathetic...you've been there, right? Right. Cool. Glad we're on the same page.
Beyond just learning to say no and practicing (which in and of itself is very worthwhile and important), here's my favorite trick to saying no to stuff that doesn't actually make you happy. Be busy doing stuff you love. Fill your life with so many things that really nourish your soul. And use your time intentionally for things that bring you joy.
Think of it as the equivalent of meal prepping for the week. Like, if you don't want to eat chips or take out for dinner every night, it's really helpful to spend some time each weekend planning what you're going to eat, getting all the ingredients, cutting them up, and having them ready. Then when you get home after a long day, you don't even have to think about ordering take out. The healthy, inexpensive meal is already there and just needs some simple prep.
Same idea for the rest of your life. Make plans with friends who really make you feel good. Book appointments way in advance for massages, haircuts, manicures, whatever. Plan a trip and put it on your calendar. Schedule a workout class and pay for it ahead of time. Block off time to work on your passion project in your calendar and make it non-negotiable. Commit to volunteering once a week. At work, pick up projects that are really exciting to you! Or whatever else it is. Sign up for an art class, idk. You do you!
The point of it is to literally fill your calendar with things you really want to do (even if it's just time to read or rest). Make these dates with yourself and bring so much joy into your life! This is an opportunity to build the life you want to be living. I'd be willing to bet you'll feel v productive, but also fulfilled and happy. And if you let yourself relish it, I bet more and more amazing opportunities will start to pop up for you.
Get it, girl.