So I know it's New Year's and all, which, for a lot of us brings up resolutions or goals or intentions or something similar (like Dry January or whatever), but can we just pause for a moment and take a step back? Like, what's actually behind these goals? Are they really going to bring you what you want? Or instead will they just make you feel bad when you (maybe) don't complete them because they don't really matter to you?
So, before you start setting your plans and promises to yourself for next year, I have a few questions for you! If you're the journaling type, maybe take some time to write through them...or not, but you get the idea. Here we go!
What do you think will be different in your life once you've reached this goal? Don't be afraid to get specific on this. Like, what actually do you think will change if you lost 5 lbs or got a new job?
Why is that important to you? Why does that change matter? What value does it highlight for you?
What reason do you have to believe this will be the outcome? Have you seen this before in yourself? Did you read it somewhere? Just an idea you had that sounded good? None of it's wrong, but it's good to explore the cause and effect you're assuming.
How do you think reaching this goal will make you feel? This is a big one. Because this is what you're really after. You probably don't want to eat healthier to lose 5 lbs or to live longer in deep down reality. You want to eat healthier to feel healthier, to feel like you love yourself, like you can trust yourself, or maybe to not feel guilty. Take a deep breath and really dig into this one. How are you going to feel when you hit this goal?
What else can you do to make you feel this way right now? Like, why delay that feeling if it's what you really want? Is going to a gym class going to make you feel that way? Do the thing! And see it for what it is - "going to this class is going to make me feel so good!" and relish it! No need to tie it to another outcome. Or even guilt yourself if you miss it, because the guilt is about failing the longer term goal, and you're going to focus on the present moment right now of it.
How excited are you to actually do the thing? Back to that original goal, do you actually, deep down want to do whatever you've set out to do? Because if you hate cooking, maybe deciding that you're going to cook 4 meals at home each week isn't the best way to go about achieving whatever bigger goal you're working toward, like saving money to feel abundant. Conversely, if you love going to spin classes, then you'll want to keep going no matter how long it takes to reach the longer term goal! Or maybe going to more spin is the longer term goal! YES, GIRL. Make sure that you're choosing things that bring you joy. You be more likely to stick with it because you're enjoying the process.
Do you have all the tools you need to do the thing? Like, time, money, understanding of how to do it? Or how you'll get those things?
What other ways could you achieve that same end goal? Always good to have a backup plan. Or maybe think of a few other ways you can achieve your goal that you might even enjoy more. Or give yourself options. Or pile 'em up. You get where I'm going with this?
With all that in mind, do you want to change anything about your goals? Because don't get me wrong, I think you're going to nail this. I have every belief in you. But why do it if it isn't what you really want, right?
Get it, girl.